Star Wars: The Prequel Trilogy

After watching the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, I have come to the conclusion that these films are some of the worst I have seen in a long time. I found it really hard to watch through these films for many reasons. I could list all of the things that are bad in these films or right a straight forward review, but I am not sure if that will work in this case. So, I have divided the film into its many different departments and discuss what I thought of each of those and how they improved or worsen or stayed the same throughout the trilogy of films.


Acting: Oh, boy, the acting is one of the two biggest problems in this film. Almost every problem can be justified by the acting or the horrendously written screenplay by George Lucas. In the first film, Jake Lloyd was the actor cast to play Anakin Skywalker. He is one of the worst child actors I have ever seen. Unexpressive facial expressions and emotionless line reading become his performance which is the gate way to an even worse actor Hayden Christensen for the next two episodes. Not only is there emotionless line reading, but sometimes it seems like he doesn’t even care. “It’s not fair” that the audience has to suffer through this kind of torment.

Not only are these actors bad, but there are two other actors in these films that are as bad as Christensen. Natalie Portman might be one of the worst actresses at work today; one of the hottest, but definitely one of the worst. She is right up there with Jessica Alba, Halle Berry, Nicole Kidman, and Penélope Cruz (however, none of the actresses are as good looking as Portman). One scene in particular is when Anakin is choking her, she just gasps a little. And before that, when she gets all flustered she starts to shake her head. Seriously, watch any of her movies and whenever she gets upset or flustered like that she starts to shake her head again and again (Heat, V for Vendetta, The Professional). At least she has one good performance for Black Swan, but that doesn’t matter. The other actor is Ian McDiarmid as Palpatine. He was decent for a little bit in Episode I, but then the second and third he starts to become worse and worse. As soon as he reveals himself as a Sith Lord, he starts to speak very slowly and cackles even more. Really? I didn’t know that the Emperor was an evil witch getting his pretties. He draws out all of his lines at a slow pace and makes his voice deeper. And he can’t fight worth a darn. The fight scene with him and the four Sith was the most choppiest, awkward, dull duel I have ever seen.

This isn’t to say that there aren’t any good actors here. There is still Liam Neeson and Pernilla August as Qui-Gon Jinn and Shmi Skywalker. Both play these characters very well or at least as well as they could with such a bad script. And of course Ewan McGregor may have been Lucas’ second greatest achievement in all the Star Wars films (the first casting Harrison Ford the Original Trilogy). He plays Obi-Wan Kenobi perfectly, again as well as he can with a bad script. Then there is Frank Oz giving the voice for Yoda, Samuel L. Jackson as Mace Windu, Sir Christopher Lee as Count Dooku, Terence Stamp’s cameo as the former Chancellor Valorum, Jimmy Smits (of West Wing and Dexter fame) as Bail Organa. And lastly Darth Maul. ‘Nough said.

Script: The story is wonderful. The story is well thought out and well crafted and I have to give Lucas props for that. It wasn’t the romance in the films that irritated me about the script, it wasn’t the one minute transitions from scene to scene that bothered me, and it wasn’t that the Force turns out to be nothing more than organisms living in everyone’s cells. No, it was the execution and dialogue of the script that bothered me most. And not only bothered, it made me angry and gave me a head ache. I found myself yelling, not at the actors, but at Lucas, saying “Why would you have him say that?” or “What the Force was that all about?” The dialogue in the film was choppy. And when I use the word choppy I mean that it was short, unimportant, and pointless. There are even scenes where it is word for word from another scene. Can they ever use a different term than “arrogant”? And the corruption of Anakin was so abrupt and stupid. How could he have fallen that fast and to a weakling such as the Emperor? There were so many questions that have are rapping around my brain. Why would he go with the Emperor who said that he has a lot of power but then says he is too weak? Why would he think being on the Jedi Council was insulting since he is not a master? YOU’RE ON THE COUNCIL AT AGE 30! GET OVER IT! COUNT YOU F-ING BLESSINGS! Why would he try to kill Padmé if the whole thing was to save her? And then there are other questions from the previous two that I never really could answer. Why would Jar Jar be promoted to general when he had no prior military background and was previously banned for clumsiness? And why did he get elected as a representative of Naboo? In Episode II, why would R2-D2 be powered down if he was supposed to be watching Padmé? Why would Padmé roll through the grass with Anakin if she didn’t want to show that she loved him? The plot holes just keep piling up. And Anakin is just a whiny boy and is never a true adult. It just like watching a 9 year old boy saying it’s not fair that his parents aren’t buying him every toy in the store.

Music: The music starts off really well with an almost complete slate of brand new themes. Episode I was a creative chance for Williams to do something new and he did. But then it went downhill after that and no longer does he compose a lot of new music. He rehashes the same cues and themes as before and there is very little originality. What new music he composed was great, but it becomes so much in the third that the new music is dwarfed by the previously written music. Not a good move Williams. His two best pieces, however, for this trilogy, is the cue for the Darth Maul/Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan duel and the love theme for Anakin and Padmé. But ultimately, I am really disappointed after the first film.

Fighting: The battles are almost the only thing redeemable in the whole film. The space battle in Episode I is worthy of the battles from Episode IV and VI, however, I would like to have seen more of it. The Gungan fighting was fine as far as that goes in the film. But the duel at the end of the film wasn’t the greatest under close examination. Don’t get me wrong, Darth Maul is amazing and I was upset that they killed him. He should have been more dominant in the trilogy, I thought. He would have done amazing in the Clone Wars. But, alas, it was not to have been. But what I do mean is that Obi-Wan Kenobi has a bad case of the twirlies and he had many times to kill Maul before the end. And the second episode has a great battle and a fun duel between Yoda and Dooku, but there were two problems with that: we didn’t see much of the ground troops fighting and I would have loved to see that and with the duel, Dooku seems surprised that Yoda can deflect a few oversized bricks with the Force. Yoda is powerful, Dooku. A rock the size of him won’t stop him. And then it is third one that the fighting gets off. And not the battles, the space battle over Coruscant and the many other battles are fun, but it is the duels between the Emperor and Yoda and the Emperor and Windu. Ian McDiarmid can’t fight worth a darn but he actually does his own lightsaber duels and that is why they fail. These are the duels between the three greatest masters in the universe, it should be more epic than Obi-Wan and Anakin, but it wasn’t. I was upset that these were so short and so clunky. And we don’t need to see Palpatine cackle like that witch or make weird, outlandish faces every two seconds. It isn’t intimidating at all, it is painful to watch. And Ian can’t even hold his lightsaber correctly. Bad move, Lucas.

Costumes and Design: This is probably the most steadily successful department in all six Star Wars films. A small aspect in these films, but one that I thought should be noted. Though it was grand and flamboyant and very obvious in many moments, it had a point and it did well. The design of the props was great and what live sets (and not green screen/computer sets) were well thought out and matched the cultures well.

Special Effects: The CGI in all six are good (except for the Digitally Remastered Special Edition for Episode IV). It may have been used too much in the Episode II and III, but it did well with the terrible directing of Lucas. The space battles looked real and the many different planets looked as real as they could be, most definitely Mustafar and Coruscant. I didn’t find it too overbearing. It’s like Avatar, it had a point. But I do agree that Lucas wrote the script to emphasize the computer graphics. Though I am opposed to that, it was not the downfall of the film; it was the script as a spoken language.

Additional Notes: There is still plenty of other things that I could say about these three films. Anakin’s pod should have crashed immediately after his engine popped out of its socket. George Lucas couldn’t have found a better way to kill Padmé? She lost the will to live? If you can die just by willing yourself to, there out to be a lot more suicides in that universe. When the Emperor is fighting the four Jedi Masters, he kills some of these great fighters in less than fice seconds. No, that is not possible, especially if you are as bad a swordsman as Palpatine. Why wouldn’t Anakin have killed the Emperor right then and there when he learned he lied to him? Palpatine said that Darth Plagieus taught his apprentice the knowledge (Palpatine) of saving people from dying and then he says he didn’t. That was the whole point he turned was for that knowledge that he had, but then he says he doesn’t have it. I would have killed him. And we see the designs for the Death Star but don’t understand how that applies to the Separatists. So many plot holes and questions are raised and are never answered. For any movie, these many holes would have garnered so much hatred, but because it is Star Wars, people look past it. I’m sorry, I can’t. 1 STAR LUCAS!